The hubby who looks like a woman

The famoos hubby who looks like a woman with a man's head ... 'moobs' are prominent as are curves. Check 👇 😁
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Who are these Bollywood characters? 😉

Can you identify these faces from Mumbai's filmworld, viz. Bollywood?
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Up or Down 🤔

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.

Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.

The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.

They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady,
'Do you want to go up or down?'

All of a sudden, the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!

When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.

He again asked the lady,
'Up or down?'

There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.

This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.

She said yes and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked,
'Up or down?'

The woman replied, 'Down.'

A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman continued to guide the boat until he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady,
'Up or down?'

She replied, 'Up.'

This really confused the gentleman so he asked, 'What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!'

'Yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid,' she replied.

'I thought the choices were
fuck or drown....' 

Even Mulla Nasruddin felt that Chinese products are useless 😄

Mulla Nasruddin buys a pair of Chinese infrared glasses.
He wears them in office in the morning and sees everyone naked.
He takes them off for a moment and everyone has their clothes on.
In the evening, he wears them in the shopping mall & sees everyone naked.
He takes them off for a moment and everyone has their clothes on again.
He goes home at night and wears them only to find his wife Salma in bed with his friend Abdulla, both naked.
He takes off the glasses and they both are still naked  ! 😳

Mulla Nasruddin says,  “This is the problem with Chinese products, don’t even last for a day.” 😆😆😆

* Boycott Chinese Products
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Pappini's soch - waiting to help India with 1000 fighter jets

How Pappini's brain works 😉
She is possibly waiting to help India with 1000 fighter jets, akin to her offer of transporting migrant workers to their home states in 1000 non-existent buses.
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Donate sperm to get a lady out on bail

Men will be too eager to get a lady out on bail, if that's what is expected from them.
Donate sperm to get a lady out on bail.
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RaGa's brains always maintain safe distance from its owner

Pappu (Raga) and his brains obediently follows social distancing. The brain always maintains safe distance from the owner.
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The job of being the security personnel of RaGa must be so difficult

The job of being the security personnel of an overgrown adolescent, RaGa must be so difficult. 

The security officials have to be continuously be with this retard and hear him speak utter nonsense but can't afford to laugh it out. 

After duty hours the officials must be meeting their friends and relatives and become the butt of all jokes for being the security guards of the most useless citizen of India. 

If applying for a new job, they will be jeered at for having spent weeks and months with an uncouth retard. 

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Pakistan's work from home strategy

Pakistan has taken work from home a bit too seriously in response to India's figurative gesture of how badly we can 'thoko' them 😅😅😅😅
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Sanitization initiatives can result in embarrassing moments

There's sanitization initiative everywhere. Watch your steps to avoid embarrassment.

Names of kids in schools born in or after 2020

Names of kids in schools born in or after 2020 😄
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Still dreaming of ₹20 lakh crores in 2040

20 years from today, i.e. even in 2040 this guy in the picture won't be able to correctly figure out:
A) the number of zeros in ₹20 lakh crores.
B) how on earth his great grandpa, grandma, pappa and mamma could not swindle the ₹20 lakh crores years ago.
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Wear your masks properly

Please wear your masks properly while driving/ riding or when you go out of home to fetch essential items or when you are in office.

* Issued In Public Interest
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Maths cannot survive without Logic

Two Clever Nuns

There were two nuns.

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past 38 ½ minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to violate us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

A little while later...

SM:It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in 1 minute.

SL:The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical!

Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

S : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM:Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty…………………

And the Moral of the Story is:
LOGIC BEATS MATHS ANYTIME.
And Maths cannot survive without Logic.
 😂😁😀😂😁😀😂

Bangalis as a tribe will get wiped off in 2020 because of their penchant for daily shopping

Bangalis of Bengal as a tribe will be wiped off totally by the end of 2020 because of their love/ penchant for daily shopping during the lockdown period to contain the spread of Coronavirus.
The tribe will feature in the pages of history books centuries later.

Be careful while responding to a lady on social media

মহিলাদের পোস্টে আমি আজকাল কমেন্ট করাই ছেড়ে দিয়েছি।

একজন পোস্ট করলেন: রোজ রাত্তিরে ডিনারের পর পেটে মোচড় দিয়ে ব্যথা হচ্ছে।
আমি জিজ্ঞেস করলাম: আপনি রাত্তিরে খান-কি?
ব্যস, দিলেন ব্লক করে।

আর একজন পুনানিবাসী বেড়ালপ্রেমী তাঁর মেনিবেড়ালের ছবি পোস্ট করেছিলেন। দোষের মধ্যে বলেছিলাম: ইউ হ্যাভ এ কিউট পুসি।
আগে বিশ্রীভাবে অপমান করে আনফ্রেন্ড করলেন। ব্লক করেননি অবশ্য।

আর একজন পরিবেশপ্রেমী দেখি বিশ্ব পরিবেশ দিবসে পোস্ট দিয়েছেন: গাছ লাগান।
আমি জানতে চেয়েছিলাম: আপনি নিজে কখনো লাগিয়েছেন?
তৎক্ষনাত ব্লক। আজো জানতে পারলাম না, আমার অপরাধ কি ছিল।

আর একজন হুমকি দিলেন: আপনি সবসময় এত আজেবাজে পোস্ট করেন, কখনো আপনাকে সামনে পেলে না, দেখিয়ে দিতাম।
আমি কৌতুহলে জানতে চেয়েছিলাম: কি দেখাতেন?
আবার ব্লক।

Password

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:
 
WINDOWS:   Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
 
USER:   boiledcabbage
 
WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
   
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
 


WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
 
USER:  50bloodyboiledcabbages
 
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.
 
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbagesBC



WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER:   MadarchodGiveMeAccessNow!



WINDOWS:  Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
 
USER :  TeriMakaBhosdaMadarchodChootMaarikeGandMeCabbageGhusaDungaAbAcceptNahiKiyaToh
 
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use by a Punjabi.

Was awarding the Nobel to a Banerjee, a comedy of errors

কোন ব‍্যানার্জীর নোবেল পাওয়ার কথা, আর কোন ব‍্যানার্জী পেলো🤔😂😂 সব চক্কান্ত !!

Was awarding the Nobel to a Banerjee, a comedy of errors 🤔🤔🤔
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Every husband is a farmer by default

Learn some practical economics and be an 'agree-culturist' to earn the rarest of rare Nobel Peace Prize everyday.
Research content: Deep Banerjee, Founder - Marketingpundit.com
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The media's interpretation of Narendra Modi's love for papaya

How media interprets what Narendra Modi says (and incidentally the anti-Modi chaddiless retards/ jerks parrot the same words thereafter):

Reporter: Sir, what do you eat during Navratri?

Modi: I only eat one single fruit in this Navratri.

Reporter: PM Sir; which fruit will you Eat ?

Modi: Papaya

NDTV: Breaking news ...
Modi does not like Mangoes; Banana; etc. He only eats Papaya.

Surjewala: Modi like Papaya means Saffron in  color.
This means Saffronisation of food choice

Shekhar Gupta: This means Modi is only promoting Hindutva.
He does not like green fruits means he is against Muslims.
This clearly shows Modi has no feelings for Muslims.

Mamata: I will put a ban on  papaya in Bengal.

Rahul Gandhi: My favorite Fruit is Banana ....I will never eat Papaya.

Barkha Dutt: The nation wants to know why Modi likes Papaya more than other fruits .

Mehbooba Mufti: Modi doesn't like Kashmiri Apple.This is Modi’s tactic to usurp Kashmir. We will not allow this to happen.

Yechuri: Selecting an expensive fruit like Papaya shows Modi is pro-capitalist. We would ask for a Judicial enquiry.

Kejriwal: Traditionally AAM (mango) is considered the King of Fruits.
Modi is anti aam aadmi.

Ravish Kumar: Modi has betrayed his ugly, communal façade by declaring that he likes Papaya. By deliberately avoiding green guavas from the list of fruits he likes, Modi has clearly demonstrated his anti-Muslim, communal mentality. He is Polarising the nation.

Rajdeep Sardesai: "Modi likes Papaya an Indian fruit which mean he hates Olives, the Italian fruit. This shows a narrow nationalism. These RSS people have no international taste & class"

Mani Shankar Aiyar: Modi is a rotten Papaya and must therefore be immediately removed from the basket. Otherwise all Papayas in the basket will rot. A rotten Papaya like modi has no place in the secular, all-inclusive basket of India.

Alpesh Thakor: मोदीजी विश्व का सबसे महंगा पपीता खाते है

Pawan Khera: मोदीजी विश्व के सबसे उच्च किस्म के पपीते से facial करवाते है.

Kanhaiya Kumar: मोदीजी केवल पपीते का केसरी भाग खाते है और हरे भाग को काट कर फैंक देतें है मोदी ने देश को तोड़ दिया.

Sadanand Dhume quoting Rupa:
"As per an eminent economist, eating only Papaya can reduce consumption of other food, thus lowering Indian GDP growth by 100 basis points."

The Wire and its readers: Would avoid commenting to remain within a veil of privacy.

600 Theatre Artists, 100 Filmmakers, 103 Economists, Civil society groups and Award Wapsi brigade has issued a joint statement urging Indians to boycott Papaya , as this fruit is damaging the unity & integrity of India.

This is how media (and their respective target audience) interpret every news in 2019 😊

Vande mataram! Jai Hind!!
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