Monday, 29 June 2020

Even Mulla Nasruddin felt that Chinese products are useless 😄

Mulla Nasruddin buys a pair of Chinese infrared glasses.
He wears them in office in the morning and sees everyone naked.
He takes them off for a moment and everyone has their clothes on.
In the evening, he wears them in the shopping mall & sees everyone naked.
He takes them off for a moment and everyone has their clothes on again.
He goes home at night and wears them only to find his wife Salma in bed with his friend Abdulla, both naked.
He takes off the glasses and they both are still naked  ! 😳

Mulla Nasruddin says,  “This is the problem with Chinese products, don’t even last for a day.” 😆😆😆

* Boycott Chinese Products
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* Laugh Aloud

Thursday, 25 June 2020

Pappini's soch - waiting to help India with 1000 fighter jets


How Pappini's brain works 😉
She is possibly waiting to help India with 1000 fighter jets, akin to her offer of transporting migrant workers to their home states in 1000 non-existent buses.
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* Laugh Aloud
* How India Travels

Donate sperm to get a lady out on bail


Men will be too eager to get a lady out on bail, if that's what is expected from them.
Donate sperm to get a lady out on bail.
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* Laugh Aloud
* How India Travels

RaGa's brains always maintain safe distance from its owner


Pappu (Raga) and his brains obediently follows social distancing. The brain always maintains safe distance from the owner.
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* Laugh Aloud
* How India Travels

Thursday, 11 June 2020

The job of being the security personnel of RaGa must be so difficult


The job of being the security personnel of an overgrown adolescent, RaGa must be so difficult. 
The security officials have to be continuously be with this retard and hear him speak utter nonsense but can't afford to laugh it out. 
After duty hours the officials must be meeting their friends and relatives and become the butt of all jokes for being the security guards of the most useless citizen of India. 
If applying for a new job, they will be jeered at for having spent weeks and months with an uncouth retard. 
* Laugh Aloud 
* How India Travels

Friday, 29 May 2020

Pakistan's work from home strategy


Pakistan has taken work from home a bit too seriously in response to India's figurative gesture of how badly we can 'thoko' them 😅😅😅😅
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* How India Travels
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Thursday, 14 May 2020

Still dreaming of ₹20 lakh crores in 2040


20 years from today, i.e. even in 2040 this guy in the picture won't be able to correctly figure out:
A) the number of zeros in ₹20 lakh crores.
B) how on earth his great grandpa, grandma, pappa and mamma could not swindle the ₹20 lakh crores years ago.
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# How India Travels
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Thursday, 7 May 2020

Wear your masks properly


Please wear your masks properly while driving/ riding or when you go out of home to fetch essential items or when you are in office.

* Issued In Public Interest
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* Keep Strong Stay Happy
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* Indian Roadie Healthcare Tips

Wednesday, 6 May 2020

Maths cannot survive without Logic

Two Clever Nuns

There were two nuns.

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past 38 ½ minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to violate us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

A little while later...

SM:It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in 1 minute.

SL:The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical!

Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

S : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM:Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty…………………

And the Moral of the Story is:
LOGIC BEATS MATHS ANYTIME.
And Maths cannot survive without Logic.
 😂😁😀😂😁😀😂

Friday, 17 April 2020

Bangalis as a tribe will get wiped off in 2020 because of their penchant for daily shopping


Bangalis of Bengal as a tribe will be wiped off totally by the end of 2020 because of their love/ penchant for daily shopping during the lockdown period to contain the spread of Coronavirus.
The tribe will feature in the pages of history books centuries later.

Tuesday, 5 November 2019

Be careful while responding to a lady on social media

মহিলাদের পোস্টে আমি আজকাল কমেন্ট করাই ছেড়ে দিয়েছি।

একজন পোস্ট করলেন: রোজ রাত্তিরে ডিনারের পর পেটে মোচড় দিয়ে ব্যথা হচ্ছে।
আমি জিজ্ঞেস করলাম: আপনি রাত্তিরে খান-কি?
ব্যস, দিলেন ব্লক করে।

আর একজন পুনানিবাসী বেড়ালপ্রেমী তাঁর মেনিবেড়ালের ছবি পোস্ট করেছিলেন। দোষের মধ্যে বলেছিলাম: ইউ হ্যাভ এ কিউট পুসি।
আগে বিশ্রীভাবে অপমান করে আনফ্রেন্ড করলেন। ব্লক করেননি অবশ্য।

আর একজন পরিবেশপ্রেমী দেখি বিশ্ব পরিবেশ দিবসে পোস্ট দিয়েছেন: গাছ লাগান।
আমি জানতে চেয়েছিলাম: আপনি নিজে কখনো লাগিয়েছেন?
তৎক্ষনাত ব্লক। আজো জানতে পারলাম না, আমার অপরাধ কি ছিল।

আর একজন হুমকি দিলেন: আপনি সবসময় এত আজেবাজে পোস্ট করেন, কখনো আপনাকে সামনে পেলে না, দেখিয়ে দিতাম।
আমি কৌতুহলে জানতে চেয়েছিলাম: কি দেখাতেন?
আবার ব্লক।

Sunday, 20 October 2019

Password

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:
 
WINDOWS:   Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
 
USER:   boiledcabbage
 
WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
   
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
 


WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
 
USER:  50bloodyboiledcabbages
 
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.
 
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbagesBC



WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER:   MadarchodGiveMeAccessNow!



WINDOWS:  Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
 
USER :  TeriMakaBhosdaMadarchodChootMaarikeGandMeCabbageGhusaDungaAbAcceptNahiKiyaToh
 
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use by a Punjabi.

Was awarding the Nobel to a Banerjee, a comedy of errors

কোন ব‍্যানার্জীর নোবেল পাওয়ার কথা, আর কোন ব‍্যানার্জী পেলো🤔😂😂 সব চক্কান্ত !!

Was awarding the Nobel to a Banerjee, a comedy of errors 🤔🤔🤔
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# Laugh Aloud

Saturday, 19 October 2019

Every husband is a farmer by default



Learn some practical economics and be an 'agree-culturist' to earn the rarest of rare Nobel Peace Prize everyday.
Research content: Deep Banerjee, Founder - Marketingpundit.com
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* LaughAloud

The media's interpretation of Narendra Modi's love for papaya


How media interprets what Narendra Modi says (and incidentally the anti-Modi chaddiless retards/ jerks parrot the same words thereafter):

Reporter: Sir, what do you eat during Navratri?

Modi: I only eat one single fruit in this Navratri.

Reporter: PM Sir; which fruit will you Eat ?

Modi: Papaya

NDTV: Breaking news ...
Modi does not like Mangoes; Banana; etc. He only eats Papaya.

Surjewala: Modi like Papaya means Saffron in  color.
This means Saffronisation of food choice

Shekhar Gupta: This means Modi is only promoting Hindutva.
He does not like green fruits means he is against Muslims.
This clearly shows Modi has no feelings for Muslims.

Mamata: I will put a ban on  papaya in Bengal.

Rahul Gandhi: My favorite Fruit is Banana ....I will never eat Papaya.

Barkha Dutt: The nation wants to know why Modi likes Papaya more than other fruits .

Mehbooba Mufti: Modi doesn't like Kashmiri Apple.This is Modi’s tactic to usurp Kashmir. We will not allow this to happen.

Yechuri: Selecting an expensive fruit like Papaya shows Modi is pro-capitalist. We would ask for a Judicial enquiry.

Kejriwal: Traditionally AAM (mango) is considered the King of Fruits.
Modi is anti aam aadmi.

Ravish Kumar: Modi has betrayed his ugly, communal façade by declaring that he likes Papaya. By deliberately avoiding green guavas from the list of fruits he likes, Modi has clearly demonstrated his anti-Muslim, communal mentality. He is Polarising the nation.

Rajdeep Sardesai: "Modi likes Papaya an Indian fruit which mean he hates Olives, the Italian fruit. This shows a narrow nationalism. These RSS people have no international taste & class"

Mani Shankar Aiyar: Modi is a rotten Papaya and must therefore be immediately removed from the basket. Otherwise all Papayas in the basket will rot. A rotten Papaya like modi has no place in the secular, all-inclusive basket of India.

Alpesh Thakor: मोदीजी विश्व का सबसे महंगा पपीता खाते है

Pawan Khera: मोदीजी विश्व के सबसे उच्च किस्म के पपीते से facial करवाते है.

Kanhaiya Kumar: मोदीजी केवल पपीते का केसरी भाग खाते है और हरे भाग को काट कर फैंक देतें है मोदी ने देश को तोड़ दिया.

Sadanand Dhume quoting Rupa:
"As per an eminent economist, eating only Papaya can reduce consumption of other food, thus lowering Indian GDP growth by 100 basis points."

The Wire and its readers: Would avoid commenting to remain within a veil of privacy.

600 Theatre Artists, 100 Filmmakers, 103 Economists, Civil society groups and Award Wapsi brigade has issued a joint statement urging Indians to boycott Papaya , as this fruit is damaging the unity & integrity of India.

This is how media (and their respective target audience) interpret every news in 2019 😊

Vande mataram! Jai Hind!!
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Saturday, 27 July 2019

Mamata's English 'Mother of thiefs are sounds most'


ইংরেজীতে অনুবাদ শিখুনঃ
"চোরের মায়ের বড় গলা" - "Mother of thiefs are sounds most."

রক্কে করো বগবান রক্কে করো।।
 ইনি আমাদের মুখ্যমন্ত্রী😄😄🙏🙏
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#BengalDoomed
#BengalisShamed
#MaMaMa
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#RottenEnglish
#GreatestGiftOfGodToBengaliMankind

Monday, 17 June 2019

Prescription by striking junior doctors of NRS Medical College to Mamata to end the impasse


Are there any doctors in my list who can read and/ or unearth the suggestions (for ending the doctors impasse in West Bengal) in the prescription submitted to Dr. Didi ?
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#LaughAloud

Striking junior doctors assured of Dhop'er Chop by Mamata at 5.36pm on 2019-06-17


Meeting of striking doctors with a supreme Dr. Bhaja Maach Ulte Khete Jaane Na Didi got over at the 14th Floor of  Nabanna (across the Hooghly River) in Kolkata.

Lots of issues discussed. How many of those issues will be resolved is unknown.

However, there's no ambiguity on the assurance at 5.36pm on Monday 2019-06-17 by HER that the docs should only leave after gobbling down a few Biswa Bangla Dhop'er Chop and Pheesh Fry.

Jai Shree Ram!
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