#LaughAloud
#StressRelievingInitiative
#MarketingPundit
Wednesday, 25 February 2015
Insights on uses for Vaseline
Insights on uses for Vaseline.
#LaughAloud
#StressRelievingInitiative
#MarketingPundit
#LaughAloud
#StressRelievingInitiative
#MarketingPundit
Monday, 23 February 2015
MP runs out of Parliament, blames tight underpants
A Canadian MP, who was asked to explain why he had to leave the House of Commons, has blamed his tight pants.
Martin, who belongs to the official opposition New Democrats, bolted as members of Parliament began to rise one by one to vote.
When asked to explain, Martin said, "I can blame it on a sale that was held at the Hudson's Bay . They had a men's underwear on for half-price. I bought a bunch that was clearly too small for me, and I find it difficult to sit for any length of time".
Martin, who belongs to the official opposition New Democrats, bolted as members of Parliament began to rise one by one to vote.
When asked to explain, Martin said, "I can blame it on a sale that was held at the Hudson's Bay . They had a men's underwear on for half-price. I bought a bunch that was clearly too small for me, and I find it difficult to sit for any length of time".
Tuesday, 27 January 2015
Maths teacher had an equally cheeky answer
Maths teacher had an equally cheeky answer to the problem solving ability of an Indian student studying engineering in the 5th semester and aspiring to become another snooty (and 'know it all') IT specialist.
#LaughAloud #ReliefFromStress
#LaughAloud #ReliefFromStress
Monday, 5 January 2015
Advertisement in newspaper for lost black & white goat
Advertisement in newspaper for lost black & white goat weighing 15 kgs.
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Slogan on vehicle Diesel tank
Bengali: 'Beshi khele babu bokbe'.
English: 'If you drink more, owner will scold me'.
This slogan on the diesel tank of a commercial vehicle was spotted and photographed somewhere in West Bengal by Indian Roadie, Neeraj Pandey.
Thank you Neeraj for this wonderful capture.
Saturday, 27 December 2014
Bhaag Madan Bhaag
Madan Mitra (Sports & Transport Minister of West Bengal), overtaken by CBI inspite of his 'Bhaag Madan Bhaag' sprints!!!
A R R E S T E D around 4pm on 12th December 2014 by CBI for huge fraud!
CBI found Madan to be closely associated with the mega Saradha chit fund scam!
When did Madan go to have a facial last time?
How is it that his face used to shine like a mirror?
What is Madan's weight as on 12th Dec?
What did he have for dinner on 11th Dec 2014?
Did he lose his hunger on 11th Dec?
Did he have a sound sleep in the intervening night of 11th and 12th Dec?
How many trips did he make to the loo on the intervening night of 11th and 12th Dec?
Did he have his breakfast at home on 12th Dec before heading for the CBI office in Kolkata?
What did he have for breakfast?
What was the thickness of the rope used to tie him up after 4pm on 12th Dec?
What was the length of the rope used to tie him up after 4pm on 12th Dec?
What did he have for lunch on 12th Dec before the arrest?
What did he have for dinner on 12th Dec after the arrest?
Will he be served dinner in a three year old aluminium 'thali' on 12th Dec and for the next decade or more that he'll be a 'state guest'?
Will he be made to lie on the floor at the Salt Lake Electronics Complex Police Station on 12th Dec & henceforth?
Will he made to wear a blue and white striped 'chaddi' and 'pajama' henceforth?
How happy is Kunal Ghosh now?
There are no end to the number of questions haunting me .... all related to this person who created history in independent West Bengal!
Dailies of 13th & 14th December 2014 will have all the answers .... I will not have access to all those. Please respond with your answers.
#SaradhaScam #HowIndiaTravels #LaughAloud #BengalisShamed #BengalDoomed
Swamiji, Mamataji, Netaji
Swamiji, Mamataji, Netaji ...... efforts are on to project all in the same league!!!
The one and only 'learned' and 'know it all' lady of West Bengal has passed on instructions to have 10'x3' flex banners printed & displayed in thousands (maybe in lakhs .... more the merrier for their own coffers) on 10th/ 11th Jan & 22nd/ 23rd Jan 2015 to celebrate Swami Vivekananda and Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose's birthday.
She, supposedly the 'biggest gift of God to mankind', wants her photo to be printed in between photos of Swamiji and Netaji, with taxpayers hard earned money.
Shame! shame! shame!
#HowIndiaTravels #BengalisShamed #BengalDoomed #HowNotToMarket #LaughAloud
The one and only 'learned' and 'know it all' lady of West Bengal has passed on instructions to have 10'x3' flex banners printed & displayed in thousands (maybe in lakhs .... more the merrier for their own coffers) on 10th/ 11th Jan & 22nd/ 23rd Jan 2015 to celebrate Swami Vivekananda and Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose's birthday.
She, supposedly the 'biggest gift of God to mankind', wants her photo to be printed in between photos of Swamiji and Netaji, with taxpayers hard earned money.
Shame! shame! shame!
#HowIndiaTravels #BengalisShamed #BengalDoomed #HowNotToMarket #LaughAloud
Ideal cure for Madan Mitra's epilepsy
When I was in school/ college, I frequently heard of a 100% cure for 'Mrigi' disease, i.e. Epilepsy.
The patient (Madan Mitra, Sports & Transport Minister of West Bengal) can be made to smell old/ dirty leather footwear at short intervals. Better still, the footwear can be kept tied around the neck like 'identity cards' 24x7 for a 'do-it-yourself' cure.
It's absolutely useless lodging a financially well-off epileptic patient under the care of a medical board in air-conditioned comfort in severely resource struck super-speciality state-run hospitals when such painless cure is available with ease.
#LaughAloud #BengalisShamed #BengalDoomed
The patient (Madan Mitra, Sports & Transport Minister of West Bengal) can be made to smell old/ dirty leather footwear at short intervals. Better still, the footwear can be kept tied around the neck like 'identity cards' 24x7 for a 'do-it-yourself' cure.
It's absolutely useless lodging a financially well-off epileptic patient under the care of a medical board in air-conditioned comfort in severely resource struck super-speciality state-run hospitals when such painless cure is available with ease.
#LaughAloud #BengalisShamed #BengalDoomed
Dada's 1st love is now being fulfilled by the dog
It's a dog's life.
Dada (Madan Mitra, Sports & Transport Minister of West Bengal) has officially become a state guest after all his 'hera-pheri'!
Dada's 1st love is now being fulfilled by the dog.
#LaughAloud #BengalisShamed #BengalDoomed
Tuesday, 18 November 2014
What's Cilli Chicken & Cilli Beep
Keep wondering what the items in the menu are.
If you are not sure, please get your doubts clarified from the waiter!
Don't repent later.
If you are not sure, please get your doubts clarified from the waiter!
Don't repent later.
Monday, 10 November 2014
Animals type man should urinate here?
Animals type man should urinate here?????
How do they look?
Intrigued!
#RottenEnglish
How do they look?
Intrigued!
#RottenEnglish
Awkward tattoos
This should send shivers through the spine of all my male and lady friends who are contemplating tattooing themselves!
Imagine a spelling or some other glaring mistake on the tattoo.
Note the error in 'courageous' and 'intelligent'.
#RottenEnglish
Imagine a spelling or some other glaring mistake on the tattoo.
Note the error in 'courageous' and 'intelligent'.
#RottenEnglish
Tuesday, 4 November 2014
Letter pertaining to 'attendance status' of student to her father
Our friend Swaraj Roy got this letter pertaining to 'attendance status' from his daughter's college (Jain University) on 4th November 2014.
He's wondering if he should be worried?
He needs your suggestion!
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He's wondering if he should be worried?
He needs your suggestion!
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Sunday, 26 October 2014
Sunday, 12 October 2014
Girls and boys talking in college is a taboo in Chennai
Shocked to read that in St.Joseph's College, Chennai, a so called "mixed" or Co-ed college, if a girl ever talks to a boy, both sets of parents are summoned to college!
Boys and girls have to walk on different sides of the road and drive way.
I understand that there are many more engineering/ general colleges in Tamilnadu, where the 'educationists' have the same mindset.
I have a simple query, if a student's father reaches college to find a lady principal/ dean at the helm of affairs (or vice-versa), will the grandmother or grandfather of the student be summoned?
Boys and girls have to walk on different sides of the road and drive way.
I understand that there are many more engineering/ general colleges in Tamilnadu, where the 'educationists' have the same mindset.
I have a simple query, if a student's father reaches college to find a lady principal/ dean at the helm of affairs (or vice-versa), will the grandmother or grandfather of the student be summoned?
Friday, 10 October 2014
Forget women, even goats are not safe from Arabs
A visiting professor at Florida State University is giving a seminar on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
15 students raise their hands.
"That’s a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That’s fantastic. But let me ask you one question further.....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
One Arab student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The Arab replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost." The Arab replies, "Ghost? Damn, no..... From back there I thought you said ’goats’!"
To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
15 students raise their hands.
"That’s a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That’s fantastic. But let me ask you one question further.....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
One Arab student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The Arab replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost." The Arab replies, "Ghost? Damn, no..... From back there I thought you said ’goats’!"
Sunday, 5 October 2014
Essay on cow by school-kid in Kolkata
A kid in a reputed school in Kolkata scored a perfect '0' on '8' against Qtn 6a. He was asked to write a paragraph about 'cows' in Bengali.
Translated into English, this is what he wrote:
"Cow is an animal. We all know cow. Cow roams everywhere near us. Cow calls 'hamba, hamba'. Cow has four tails and one leg. Cow is a vegetarian, so eats grass. Cow gives milk. Mother Dairy takes this milk and supplies us. I drink milk every morning. My friend Raj stays on the 24th floor of South City. He has not seen a cow."
I'd like to follow this kid's career progress .....he is creative & has a sense of logical reasoning
Might grow up to head a good creative agency
He has seen cows but his friend staying on the 24th Floor of an upmarket housing cluster has not seen one
A cow is a veggie & therefore eats grass while my young author is a non-veg who by logical reasoning has fish, chicken, eggs only
Translated into English, this is what he wrote:
"Cow is an animal. We all know cow. Cow roams everywhere near us. Cow calls 'hamba, hamba'. Cow has four tails and one leg. Cow is a vegetarian, so eats grass. Cow gives milk. Mother Dairy takes this milk and supplies us. I drink milk every morning. My friend Raj stays on the 24th floor of South City. He has not seen a cow."
I'd like to follow this kid's career progress .....he is creative & has a sense of logical reasoning
Might grow up to head a good creative agency
He has seen cows but his friend staying on the 24th Floor of an upmarket housing cluster has not seen one
A cow is a veggie & therefore eats grass while my young author is a non-veg who by logical reasoning has fish, chicken, eggs only
Defining 30 best fun-bags of Bollywood
Defining 30 best fun-bags of Bollywood.
(01) Thanks to Sunny Leone's entry into Bollywood, we no longer have to hide her CDs from our girls, the ones we’ve been collecting since years. Watching Sunny Leone shove ‘em into the 70mm screen is the best feeling ever!
(02) Lara Dutta, the former Miss Universe was looking very firm and supple in ‘Blue’ – and we are not talking about her body in general either. Neither a tease, nor a prude – Dutta commands attention if and when she does decide to flaunt her goods.
(03) Every time Bipasha Basu, the dusky beauty appears on screen, she uninhibitedly lets us steal a glance at those twins and leaves us asking for more. What would the fantasy world be like without Bips?
(04) Mallika Sherawat's breasts caught the attention of viewers in ‘Khwahish’, and a decade later we still have our own khwahish-es about this sultry siren.
(05) Jacqueline Fernandes, the leggy lass knows well how to tease her men with a sensuous sway, a slow and gentle heaving followed by an occasional thrusting jiggle, all in a single moment!
(06) Whether covered by the bikini top in ‘Cocktail’ or the choli in ‘Goliyon Ka Rasleela: Ram Leela’ – Deepika Padukone’s assets charm men all over India every time she appears onscreen.
(07) Sinking low, pressing ‘em against the floor, Katrina Kaif goes ‘Zara Zara Touch Me’ while you blame Abbas-Mustan for not making the film in 3D.
(08) The epitome of proportion, Priyanka Chopra’s twins are just as shapely as the rest of her. No wonder this ‘exotic’ ‘desi girl’ is media’s darling!
(09) Donning a bikini that became one with Shilpa Shetty's skin, leaving only little to the imagination, she left the whole theatre screaming, ‘Shut up, just bounce’!
(10) Chitrangada Singh, the ‘Desi Boyz’ actress’ well-defined cheekbones go perfectly well with her equally defined cans. Lucky man, Jyoti Randhawa!
(11) Size does matter, and Poonam Pandey proves it right. While we may not clearly remember her face, we can surely differentiate her knockers from amongst a thousand others.
(12) Ditzy roles or superhot intelligence in her movies, Amisha Patel’s hooters probably make a better point to us guys. No offence.
(13) Usually actions speak louder than words. In Sherlyn Chopra’s case, her pair talk the loudest. Outrageously big and equally limber, Sherlyn’s babies are simply drool-worthy.
(14) Too bad Neha Dhupia’s career has not been as hot as her knockers. God knows we could have done with a few more Julies!
(15) Trapping those beauties of Ayesha Takia inside clothes is just unfair to man-kind.
(16) Bazooka alert! ‘Mickey Virus’ actress Elli Avram’s entry in Bollywood could just be the next best thing for all of you who appreciate beauty.
(17) Malaika Arora Khan .... don’t we love women who flaunt all that they’ve got! We’ve seen her wiggle and waggle her assets in several songs but we just cannot get enough of it.
(18) Good things come in small packages – and that is what petite Sophie Chaudhry is all about! Who can forget the item number ‘Bad Boy’ from the movie ‘Pyaar Ke Side Effects’ in all her soapy goodness?
(19) Dimple Kapadia .... can anybody forget those treats waiting to pop out of the skimpy red bikini in the film ‘Bobby’?
(20) We did not even realize when Urmila Matondkar went from young to old – but someone must have forgotten to tell her girls that. Not that we are complaining.
(21) Amrita Arora couldn't act but her gazongas surely could! If breasts could bag roles, she’d be a superstar today!
(22) Yana Gupta the exotic Czech beauty in Bollywood movies is being missed badly nowadays. We miss the perfection that we witnessed in ‘Bijli Giri’ (‘Dum’) and ‘Oh! What a Babe!’ (‘Rakht’).
(23) Bruna Abdullah never shied away from introducing her lady lumps to the whole wide world. This girl is a regular visitor in our fantasy land.
(24) Zeenat Aman .... they don’t make them like her anymore - raw earthy sensuality with none of that cosmetic surgery nonsense. What you see is what you get – and we liked what we saw!
(25) Veena Malik is getting bigger by each passing day. Can someone let us know when her hooters have ‘swayamvars’ of their own?
(26) Maryam Zakaria .... if anything, ‘Grand Masti’ gave us half a dozen hot women to daydream about. And Maryam Zakaria, in her red bodyfit dress, was one voluptuous goddess we pledge our devotion to.
(27) Kainaat Arora .... as the famous dialogue from ‘Grand Masti’ goes, she has left a thousand men waiting to visit her ‘doodh ki factories’.
(28) Zarine Khan is the busty bombshell who made a royal debut in Bollywood as a princess in ‘Veer’. She might not be an outstanding actress, but people do wish to see ‘more’ of her in coming movies.
(29) Koena Mitra may have gotten the rhinoplasty wrong but thank god, she chose the right surgeon to treat those once-little funbags!
(30) They say that Riya Sen’s eyes are her most attractive feature. They missed the mark by at least six inches northwards, dude!
Description courtesy: http://m.mensxp.com/entertainment
(01) Thanks to Sunny Leone's entry into Bollywood, we no longer have to hide her CDs from our girls, the ones we’ve been collecting since years. Watching Sunny Leone shove ‘em into the 70mm screen is the best feeling ever!
(02) Lara Dutta, the former Miss Universe was looking very firm and supple in ‘Blue’ – and we are not talking about her body in general either. Neither a tease, nor a prude – Dutta commands attention if and when she does decide to flaunt her goods.
(03) Every time Bipasha Basu, the dusky beauty appears on screen, she uninhibitedly lets us steal a glance at those twins and leaves us asking for more. What would the fantasy world be like without Bips?
(04) Mallika Sherawat's breasts caught the attention of viewers in ‘Khwahish’, and a decade later we still have our own khwahish-es about this sultry siren.
(05) Jacqueline Fernandes, the leggy lass knows well how to tease her men with a sensuous sway, a slow and gentle heaving followed by an occasional thrusting jiggle, all in a single moment!
(06) Whether covered by the bikini top in ‘Cocktail’ or the choli in ‘Goliyon Ka Rasleela: Ram Leela’ – Deepika Padukone’s assets charm men all over India every time she appears onscreen.
(07) Sinking low, pressing ‘em against the floor, Katrina Kaif goes ‘Zara Zara Touch Me’ while you blame Abbas-Mustan for not making the film in 3D.
(08) The epitome of proportion, Priyanka Chopra’s twins are just as shapely as the rest of her. No wonder this ‘exotic’ ‘desi girl’ is media’s darling!
(09) Donning a bikini that became one with Shilpa Shetty's skin, leaving only little to the imagination, she left the whole theatre screaming, ‘Shut up, just bounce’!
(10) Chitrangada Singh, the ‘Desi Boyz’ actress’ well-defined cheekbones go perfectly well with her equally defined cans. Lucky man, Jyoti Randhawa!
(11) Size does matter, and Poonam Pandey proves it right. While we may not clearly remember her face, we can surely differentiate her knockers from amongst a thousand others.
(12) Ditzy roles or superhot intelligence in her movies, Amisha Patel’s hooters probably make a better point to us guys. No offence.
(13) Usually actions speak louder than words. In Sherlyn Chopra’s case, her pair talk the loudest. Outrageously big and equally limber, Sherlyn’s babies are simply drool-worthy.
(14) Too bad Neha Dhupia’s career has not been as hot as her knockers. God knows we could have done with a few more Julies!
(15) Trapping those beauties of Ayesha Takia inside clothes is just unfair to man-kind.
(16) Bazooka alert! ‘Mickey Virus’ actress Elli Avram’s entry in Bollywood could just be the next best thing for all of you who appreciate beauty.
(17) Malaika Arora Khan .... don’t we love women who flaunt all that they’ve got! We’ve seen her wiggle and waggle her assets in several songs but we just cannot get enough of it.
(18) Good things come in small packages – and that is what petite Sophie Chaudhry is all about! Who can forget the item number ‘Bad Boy’ from the movie ‘Pyaar Ke Side Effects’ in all her soapy goodness?
(19) Dimple Kapadia .... can anybody forget those treats waiting to pop out of the skimpy red bikini in the film ‘Bobby’?
(20) We did not even realize when Urmila Matondkar went from young to old – but someone must have forgotten to tell her girls that. Not that we are complaining.
(21) Amrita Arora couldn't act but her gazongas surely could! If breasts could bag roles, she’d be a superstar today!
(22) Yana Gupta the exotic Czech beauty in Bollywood movies is being missed badly nowadays. We miss the perfection that we witnessed in ‘Bijli Giri’ (‘Dum’) and ‘Oh! What a Babe!’ (‘Rakht’).
(23) Bruna Abdullah never shied away from introducing her lady lumps to the whole wide world. This girl is a regular visitor in our fantasy land.
(24) Zeenat Aman .... they don’t make them like her anymore - raw earthy sensuality with none of that cosmetic surgery nonsense. What you see is what you get – and we liked what we saw!
(25) Veena Malik is getting bigger by each passing day. Can someone let us know when her hooters have ‘swayamvars’ of their own?
(26) Maryam Zakaria .... if anything, ‘Grand Masti’ gave us half a dozen hot women to daydream about. And Maryam Zakaria, in her red bodyfit dress, was one voluptuous goddess we pledge our devotion to.
(27) Kainaat Arora .... as the famous dialogue from ‘Grand Masti’ goes, she has left a thousand men waiting to visit her ‘doodh ki factories’.
(28) Zarine Khan is the busty bombshell who made a royal debut in Bollywood as a princess in ‘Veer’. She might not be an outstanding actress, but people do wish to see ‘more’ of her in coming movies.
(29) Koena Mitra may have gotten the rhinoplasty wrong but thank god, she chose the right surgeon to treat those once-little funbags!
(30) They say that Riya Sen’s eyes are her most attractive feature. They missed the mark by at least six inches northwards, dude!
Description courtesy: http://m.mensxp.com/entertainment
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