Eligible boy in Patna responded to a matrimonial advertisement

Self proclaimed eligible bachelor from Patna responded to a matrimonial advertisement inserted by a lady. 

Here's what he wrote to her  .... 

Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.

I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna. I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School, Bezna Road.

I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.

I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so.

I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.

I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands. 

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* Rotten English 

Pappini dressed for Halloween 2021

Stop saying she was dressed for Halloween ! 

Uske Bhak..ti pe dhyan do! 

Caption courtesy: Dr. Rupa Murthy 
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* How India Travels 
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Three of West Bengal's best ever musicians will compete for mindspace in Durga Puja 20021

Three of West Bengal's best ever musicians, viz. Ranu Mondal, Baisakhi Sovon duo, and Colourful Madan Mitra with Tollywood lasses (rendering Manike Mange Hite, Ta Ta Thoi Thoi and Don't Know My Name respectively) will compete for mindspace with huge speakers blaring their high voltage performance during Durga Puja 20021. 

If you have 3 Durga Puja pandals in close proximity of your house, you will have a 'gala' sleepless Durga Puja in mid October 2021. 

Sarodiya Subhechcha to you and your dear ones in advance 🤭 

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* How India Travels 

Mamata as Ma Kali - Jotoi Dao Totoi Chai

Mamata as Ma Kali - Jotoi Dao Totoi Chai

She is clueless as always

The lady in white is a clueless aspirational heartless dreamer who has been aspiring for the chair of PM but without any capabilities whatsoever! 

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* Bengal Doomed 
* Bengalis Shamed 

* Greatest Gift Of God To Bengali Mankind  

Schoolgirl wants to grow up to become someone like Indrani Mukerjea

Teacher: Who is your 'role model'? 

Girl: Ma'am, Indrani Mukerjea!
 
Teacher : (Shocked)  Why? 

Girl: See Ma'am,  Abdul Kalam passed away - no debate.
Sania won Wimbledon - 10 minutes coverage.
 4/5 toppers in IAS are women - do we even know? 
Indian women hockey team got entry in Olympics after 20 years - have we ever heard? 
Have we ever seen any interview from  Indra Nooyi, Chanda Kochchar, Shikha Sharma .... ???
Look at Indrani Mukerjea. Inch by inch they are covering, how much struggle she had, how ambitious she is, how beautiful she looks .... how many husbands she had ... what companies she had ... I am inspired by what  I see on TV. 
Ma'am I want to become full cover story like Indrani Mukerjea! 

* Laugh Aloud 

(Repost from own Facebook wallpost dated 2015-09-03) 

Stock prices of Burnol makers have reason 1228% between 2014 and 2021

Stock prices of Dr Morepen Laboratories (makers of Burnol ointment) have risen 1228% ever since Modiji was voted to power in mid 2014. 

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Waiting for 'Duare Saali'

সকাল আটটা হবে কলিং বেল বেজে উঠল দরজা খুলতেই একজন রোগা মতো লোক দুহাতে দুটো ব্যাগ নিয়ে দাঁড়িয়ে।  জিগ্যেস করলাম কি ব্যাপার? বললো দুয়ারে শ্বশুর প্রকল্পে জামাইদের বাড়ী বাড়ী খাবার পৌছে দিচ্ছি। আমি রেগে গিয়ে বললাম আমি কি খেতে পাই না! যে এই খাবার গুলো নেব??? আরে রাগ করছেন কেন?এগুলো আপনার শ্বশুর পাঠিয়েছে আমাদের সংস্থার মাধ্যমে। ও তাই বলুন! যেতে যেতে বলে গেলেন দুপুরের রান্না করবেন না; দুপুরে আসবে দুয়ারে শ্বাশুরী। 

দুপুরে কলিং বেল বেজে উঠলো দরজা খুলতেই একজন মোটসোটা মহিলা দুহাতে দুটো বড়ো বড়ো টিফিন বক্স ও কাঁধে ব্যাগ;   টিফিন বক্স দুটো ধরিয়ে দিয়ে আসন বের করে তাড়াতাড়ি বসে পড়ুন ধান,দূর্বা দিয়ে আশীর্বাদ করে চলে গেল।দুপুরে খাওয়া দাওয়াটা বেশ ভালোই হল। 
বিকেলে ঘুম থেকে উঠে চা খাবো এমন সময় কলিং বেলটা আবার ও বেজে উঠলো। দেখি একটা ফচকে টাইপের ছেলে, হাতে খবরের কাগজের মোড়কে একটা হুইস্কির বোতল, অন‍্য হাতে একটা বিসলেরির জলের বোতল আর কিছু ফিসফ্রাই। বুঝে গেলাম দুয়ারে শালা। 

পেটের যা অবস্থা রাতে খেতে পারব কিনা জানিনা!!!
তবু অপেক্ষায় আছি দুয়ারে শালির জন্য।।

😛😝😜  

What do the seemingly holy ones want in their prayers?

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots 🦜, but they only know how to say one thing. They keep saying
“HI, we're hot. Do you want a date?” 

“That's terrible!” The priest exclaimed. “But I DO have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male taking parrots, to whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will then teach YOUR parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship.” 

So the next day the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking parrots, and the female parrots say “Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?” 

One male parrot looks over at the other and screams: “Put your Bible away Idiot! Our prayers have been answered!”. 

She passed away in English

It's only 

(1) people in India who have grown up with the 'chalta hai' attitude and 
(2) Indians with a commie bent of mind who want others to remain downtrodden while they themselves tower over others without possessing the abilities ........ 
who will say that English is after all a foreign language and as long as the message is understandable, there's no reason to laugh. 
For those in Serial (2), check out the background/ upbringings of their children and you will find that more often than not, they have ensured that their children's future has been taken care of. 
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* Rotten English 
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* How India Travels

Some 'gaadhas' want an 'Overgrown Adolescent' named RaGa to become the PM of India. 

However, the way the retard is slapped on social media almost daily is huge entertainment for netizens like me.
Here's one reply to RaGa's Tweet by a netizen in response to the subject 'FreeVaccineForAll' 😃
Poora Dho Daala!
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* Laugh Aloud

Mastaan got it back from a roti seller

 

বছর দেড়েক আগে বড় রাস্তার মোড়ে  রাতের বেলায়  রুটি কিনতে গেছিলাম। অনেকেই রুটির জন্য অপেক্ষা করছেন। একটা লোক বাইক থামিয়ে, সীটে বসেই হেঁকে উঠলো, ”ফটাফট দশটা রুটি দাও।"
বলেই সিগারেট ধরিয়ে আবার, "জলদি করো, তাড়াতাড়ি।"
ভাবলাম কোনো হোমরাচোমরা ব্যাস্ত বাগীশ লোক হবে হয়তো। হয়তোবা  কোন এঁদো গলির অনুপ্রাণিত ছিন্নমূল নেতা। কিন্তু রুটিওয়ালার কোনো হেলদোল নেই। তিনি পরপর গ্রাহক ছাড়তে লাগলেন। আরও দু-তিনবার রুটি চাওয়ার পরও যখন দোকানী ভদ্রলোক পরপরই দিয়ে যাচ্ছেন, লোকটা এবারে খেঁকিয়ে উঠলো, কি ব্যাপার, কথা কানে যাচ্ছে না? তারাতাড়ি রুটি দিতে বলছি যে।"
উত্তরে রুটিওয়ালা ভদ্রলোক যা বললেন, তাতে আমার তো মনে হয়না পৃথিবীর কেউ আর রুটির জন্য তাড়াতাড়ি করবে। 
উনি বললেন, "মস্তানি করবেন না দাদা। চুপচাপ লাইনে দাঁড়ান। আপনি যদি সত্যিই মস্তান বা নেতা হতেন, তো বাড়িতেই বউকে দিয়েই রুটি বানিয়ে নিতেন।" 😉 
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* অট্টহাসি_হাসুন 
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Alcohol consumption is bad

Alcohol consumption is bad because  ....  

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Didir Baani .... the universal big sister of West Bengal will not allow the Government of India to harm the nuts of her faithful brothers 😉. 

Location: Kotulpur 2021-04. 
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* WB Election 2021 
* Didir Baani 
* Bengalis Shamed 
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* How India Travels

For RaGa, 'eksau paisat' is 'one six seven'

I keep wondering which Irish Brother admitted this freak to St. Columbas School. Every time I think about that, I feel ashamed to call myself an alumni of a Christian Brother school 😩 

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* How India Travels 

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Chanting of "Jai Shree Ram" can make someone jump from the wheelchair and start running

For eradicating the most diabolical disease in West Bengal, garb se pukaro, zor se pukaro, bhakti se pukaro, "Jai Shree Ram"  🙏 

To heal all sprains and fractured bones in seconds, zor se pukaro, bhakti se pukaro, "Jai Shree Ram"  🙏  🤭 
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* How India Travels 

What's RaGa saying

This is what happens when a spoilt 'Overgrown Adolescent' whiles away time in the class thinking about his escapades to Bangkok or Italy. During examinations, questions are set from within the syllabus. However, the spoilt student has no clues about the answers.

The student nevertheless answers something to avoid getting smacked by his mom with her torn and soiled chappals.
Let's pity the poor teacher who has to browse through the entire answer sheet to check if the answer is hidden somewhere in the junk to avoid awarding a perfect 'duck' 😩
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After Nadda was addressed as Fadda, people with certain surnames don't want to become opposition leaders

People with surnames like Pal, Dhara (and the likes) dare not oppose HER in Bengal following her public outburst against BJP President J.P.Nadda and calling him names in December 2020  

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